We believe the arts can strengthen and enrich our faith. Therefore we chose to include works from 7 current fine artists and 6 classical artists as a way to help support and promote their vocations. The artists include Kristyn Brown (of the Saints Project; also featured at the World Meeting of Families in 2015), Brian Jekel, Gwyneth Thompson-Briggs (Artist-in-Residence at Thomas More College), Jeremy Matick, Ali Cavanaugh (Marietta Cobb Museum of Art), Bernadette Carstensen, and Michelle Arnold Paine.Each calendar also includes short biographies and websites for each artist so that you may see more of their work.
I Don’t Live an Instagram Life
The day after the Business Boutique conference ended last weekend, I faced a messy house, piles of dirty laundry, and the reality that my life is just not conducive to well-designed, curated Instagram posts.
Attending conferences can be inspiring and motivating, but they can also make you keenly aware of areas of improvement. I think we’ve all found ourselves at times comparing our lives to friends’ and influencers’ highlight reels. I almost started to feel like I needed to start leading a different life just so my posts could look fancier on my Instagram feed.
This is the reality that I faced this past Sunday:
My weekday mornings are spent hurriedly getting myself and my girls ready for school. I am out of the house Monday through Friday from 7 AM to 6 PM battling traffic and working at a behavioral health agency. I spend my days under fluorescent lights in an office with no windows surrounded by an uninspiring, dull shade of yellow gold paint. When I get home, it’s already time to start preparing my girls for bedtime. I’m lucky to start working on all things Bold Red Creative by 7:30. This usually means that cereal is a complete possibility for dinner if leftovers aren’t in the refrigerator from the weekend.
I don’t have time for crafting pretty flat-lays, and sharing a page from my planner would be a complete disgrace to bullet journalers everywhere! And although I admire it, I don’t do hand-lettering nor do I have the time to make every letter look fancy.
I don’t have a nice white, clean desk with a little potted succulent in the corner. At this point, I don’t even have a desk. My office is a comfortable spot in the corner of my slip-covered living room couch or at the kitchen table.
I haven’t seen the ocean in nine years. I haven’t been on vacation outside of the state of Tennessee for, well, nine years. Who knows if I’ll ever get a chance to go to Greece one day? Right now, I’ll take summers at my parents’ pool!
My car is coated in a nice layer of dirt and sap. The yellow mums on the front porch are turning brown from a lack of consistent watering. I haven’t worn my cute workout clothes lately, because exercise is last on my list right now…
The funny thing is, as I started to take pictures to document the state of my totally real and non-glamorous day-in-the-life, I realized how blessed I am despite all of the areas that I feel that I’m failing in. I may not cook a lot these days (thank you, slow cookers!), but I made chocolate chip pancakes and green smoothies after Mass. In between loads of laundry, I cuddled up with my girls and listened to them practice Christmas songs on the piano. My husband did ALL of the dishes. At the end of the day, we gathered around our fire pit in the backyard and made s’mores.
It doesn’t make sense for me to try to reflect a life of a rich twenty or thirty-something female entrepreneur with no kids and no mortgage.
That’s. not. my. life.
My life is a crazy, daily juggling act. When I lay my head on the pillow each night, I fall asleep fast because I’m working hard for my family and giving it my all. And my husband is, too. I may work too much some days and not enough other days, but that’s what it’s like to be a working mother.
It’s about the day-to-day journey.
It’s about putting love where it needs to be in that moment.
It’s about being intentional and knowing what things to let go.
It’s being okay with not being perfect.
It’s being thankful each day… dirty laundry and all.
Follow my imperfect life, business adventures, and inspirational quotes on Instagram: @stefanieshick. See you over there!
How Do You Pursue Creative Dreams When You Have a Family?
This week, Jim and Jeannie Gaffigan announced that the final episode of the second season of The Jim Gaffigan Show would be the last for the TV Land sitcom. The talented couple cited lack of family time as the main reason for ending the show.
On Twitter, Jeannie tweeted:
Our real lives, marriage and family provide the inspiration for our comedy & our art and we need to have real life to make art.
This news got me thinking about a topic that interests me greatly. It’s something that my husband and I have discussed over and over again. How do you find the time and energy to pursue creative goals while raising a family? Is it worth the cost?
I tend to lean to the side of “if there’s a will, there’s a way,” while Adam is very much along the lines of “you can’t have it all.” I think the truth is somewhere in the middle. Adam tends to be all or nothing and has a hard time breaking things up in small pieces here and there. He has taken a long break from pursuing a career as a musician because of this and his devotion to being present as much as possible for our two daughters. I believe that if God is truly calling us to pursue something, it will be worked out in the best interest of the family.
Let’s be real, life is unpredictable. Especially when it involves little ones. I didn’t get this blog post knocked out earlier in the week like I had hoped, so my plan was to finish it tonight in time to post Friday. What I didn’t take into account was a few unforeseen factors, like…
- My compressor going out in my car yesterday morning while driving the girls to school, which resulted in me driving my husband’s SUV today so he could drop my car off at the repair shop.
- A hectic day at work especially at the end of the day, right before I’m leaving to pick up my husband in crazy downtown traffic.
- My oldest daughter coming down with a cold and my youngest daughter being extra stubborn at bedtime.
- Eating a bowl of Corn Chex for dinner at 8 pm because I needed to cuddle with my sick daughter and I had no energy left to make anything.
This is the reality of family life.
If we don’t leave margin and room for flexibility, other goals don’t fit in very well. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. In response to a question I asked on Instagram about finding balance between pursuing dreams while raising children, Alyssa Barilar, fellow mom and entrepreneur, responded:
Ugh story of my life! I am always changing things around to see what works. I work from home so some days are a breeze while other days the kids need me nonstop lol. Planning helps, but being okay with adjusting to the day is key.
It can be hard to plan ahead for unforeseen situations, because it’s rare to find extra time to get more done! How is one supposed to pursue creative endeavors or other dreams while making money to support a family, caring for kids, making healthy meals, cleaning a house, spending time with their spouse, and on and on?
I think a lot of this depends on perspective and realistic goals. There was a day when Adam dreamed of singing in big arenas and hearing his songs on the radio. Now, he’s on the radio, but singing jingles about country clubs and eye banks that are playing in random towns across the United States. (Not quite what he had imagined!) He’s had to take a step back and re-focus on what may be feasible with a family. He’s been on tour for several weekends out of the year and doesn’t want to do that again. Maybe at some point, he’ll plan to play some conferences and record a mastered 6-song EP.
Granted, the people that seem to have the most flexibility are the creatives who busted it and are making enough money at it that they can outsource tasks and support their families. I’d venture to say that a lot of time had to go into making that happen before more of a “balance” could be achieved. Case in point, the Gaffigans can afford to end a TV show because they really don’t need the money from that project at this point.
But for us “normal” people who are trying to devote time to our families and pursue a side project that could hopefully turn into something more, what can we do? Here are some tidbits I’ve gathered so far…
- Be content with doing a little at a time. All these small things definitely add up!
- Give grace. We may want everything to be perfect, but is it good enough?
- Be prepared for plans to change. Flexibility is not NOT an option!
- Take breaks when needed. Re-charging and self-care is non-negotiable.
- Write down goals and break them down into small, achievable tasks. Find a planner that works to manage business, personal, and family to-do’s.
- Lastly, and most importantly, pray to be able to discern what’s needed in the moment each day.
Professional and creative dreams may take a little longer to pursue while having a family, but I would say that everything is more meaningful and done with more intention and efficiency. If God has given you a gift, pursue it in the best way unique to you and your family! It can be done!
Forgive me if this post doesn’t flow as smoothly as it should or my thoughts are incomplete. I’m a little tired from working full-time in the behavioral health field, battling traffic daily, and mommy-ing, but I’m committed to knocking my weekly posts out on time. It may not be as well-thought out and edited as I would have liked, but it’s done and for today that’s enough! (Attempting to practice what I preach!)
Thanks for hanging in there with me! I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this topic. Any advice? Spill! I’d really love to get a good conversation going about this!